WALKING KYIV

Friendship of Nations Monument

The streets of Kyiv are an international blend with many American influences, flying our familiar banners of Coca Cola and McDonald’s throughout their courtyards. Our block is lined with high end stores. Furriers and jewelry, Gucci and Ralph Lauren, with two Addidas Apparel stores are mixed in. The curbs and sidewalks are cluttered with SUVs and BMWs. Freddy Kruger hands out leaflets for the Haunted House that is opening for Halloween. We have eaten at two restaurants: the Double Coffee and Weinsteiner Pub, both with menus in English and pictures of the food. We like pictures. We are slowly building our pointing and nodding technique of food selection so we can branch out to the cafeterias.

Independence Square

The youth dominate the streets. Young men walk with twenty ounce beers in one hand, and hold on to their girlfriends with the other. There is little diversity in appearance between young and old. Nearly everyone is dressed fashionably. Boldness earns extra fashion points. The women couple high heeled boots that wrap just above their calves with their preferred length of leather skirt. The length ranges from the knee to something shorter than the base of a pea coat. Their jackets are fitted, and often brightly colored or sewn from of high-gloss vinyl. Purses are large and sparkle. Faces are perfectly painted at any hour we are on the streets and their hair is sculpted.

Men are included in the national dedication to fashion. Their styles vary from conservatively tailored suits to more gaudy attire. A man rode through the city park on a mountain bike, completely decked out in a bright European jersey, Oakley sunglasses, a Camelback, a helmet, and clipped into his pedals. He looked lost, like he took a wrong turn at a distant trailhead. Two twenty-something guys walked past us by Saint Sophia’s Cathedral. One was dressed in a white linen suit silkscreened with a Chinese dragon down the entire left-hand side. His friend was dressed in the Ukrainian version of hip hop gear; a coordinated Addidas sweat suit, a black New York Yankees hat, his pants not sagging nearly as much as they would in the States. Style is all or nothing.

Padlocks, with lover's names written on them, line a footbridge.

People walk, and walk, and walk, seemingly without a destination. They stroll. There are so many people moving around Independence Square at any given time it is easy to imagine how quickly it filled during the Orange Revolution. Everyone seems exuberant and playful. Despite the perennial beers in hand, I’ve not seen one instance of public drunkenness. Only a few Babushkas hold a cup for spare change. In Kiev it is hard to imagine the situations that caused the surge of orphans and poverty.

VIDEO: Saint Michael's Monastery
Kyiv, Ukraine

UKRAINE ADOPTION

Tomorrow we are going to the Center for Adoption, a twenty-five minute walk from our apartment. We will have a brief interview with officials to discuss our life in the United States and why we chose to adopt. The year leading up to this has been about Kathy and I, and what kind of parents we will be. The homestudy, the fingerprinting, the background checks. Tomorrow is the first time that a child will be added, not formed solely from our hopes and imagination. There are some long odds to adopting from Ukraine, a country 6000 miles away from the United States, a place with evolving social programs and admitted government corruption. Tomorrow we will be shown pictures of four children, their health information already a year old, and be asked to make our first decision.

Positive changes to the adoption process in Ukraine make our process more challenging. This year is National Adoption Year, a campaign started to encourage Ukrainian families to adopt. With a better economy since the opening of international adoption in the 1990’s more Ukrainian families have the opportunity to adopt the children from the orphanages. A foster care system has also developed. Adoption is open only to Ukrainian families for children up to 18 months, when the children are then available for international adoption. A few years ago, prior to the foster program, there were so many children that the international program was needed to place the overwhelming amounts of children. Now, most orphans diagnosed as healthy stay in the Ukraine. Kathy and I absolutely agree this is the best situation for the children here. The decline in orphans allowed a large orphanage in Kyiv to close recently, quickly converted to business offices. But because of this, the children available for international adoption tend to be considered more challenging due to medical conditions or behavioral difficulties.

This is not quite as discouraging as it sounds. We have always been open to any child we feel we can help. Many times the diagnosed conditions are correctable with surgery or therapy. Conditions like club foot, cleft pallet, or attention deficit disorder. It is the resources for treatment that are missing from the country. In other cases a suspected diagnosis has been placed on the children for their protection to make sure that they receive a government pension. It is possible that a child diagnosed with Epilepsy may have only had a fever induced seizure, or a tantrum. Children with parents that were HIV positive at their birth must wait 15 months to be adopted, to confirm that they did not contract the disease. Because of these issues, perfectly healthy children may have been overlooked and left in the orphanage system.

We will have the pictures of four children and their brief medical summary to decide from tomorrow. If we find a child we would like to visit, we travel to their region on Thursday. If we feel none of the children meet what we are ready for, we set another appointment and are shown four more. We can make a decision based on twelve children total. We completely understand the odds . We are looking at a moment in time, when the right child comes together with the right parents to form a family. It is impossible to know anything until tomorrow.

KYIV ARRIVAL

We arrived at 3pm yesterday to KBP and had that always nerve wracking interaction with the customs agent. Olga had a sign for us and I spotted her quite quickly in the large mass of people standing outside the luggage area. She has short blonde hair and I instantly gave her a hug. I don’t know if that was courteous but I’m going on instinct. She took us out to where our driver was waiting and we got into a van. The journey took about 20 minutes and reminded us of being in Italy where the driving is like a roller coaster ride. We are very glad to have a driver. Kiev is a walking city and we are positioned very close to the main street. We have a wonderful apartment with 2 bedrooms, bathroom and kitchen. It is very clean and has windows to the street and a back area where we have watched cats on the neighboring rooftops. We got to our apartment, then off for some dinner around the corner, and then to the grocery to get water and some bread and cheese for breakfast. Finally a full night sleep, not! We were up about 2 am, Greg on his computer and I was forcing myself to sleep. We did fall back to sleep at some point and woke about 9:30am. Olga went over the whole process with us this morning. She has given me confidence. She is exact in her wording, direction and has done it with sincerity. We are going to meet with the physician that will help us decide on any medical questions. He is going to spend about a hour or so going over the terminology and diagnoses in their medical system. Terms that we are used to may have different meanings. After that we may go out for a walk and find some dinner. Tomorrow will be a sort of day off. Our big day will be Wednesday when we have our meeting at 2pm with the SDA. (this is the national department of adoption) We will be interviewed, showed children that are available and then in about 20 minutes decide who we will go to meet. Most likely Olga will also attend the meeting with us so that will give us another resource in deciding. If we find our child we will leave to go meet them by Friday. This will certainly be a big week in the process and hopefully a magical one.

JETLAG

7:30pm, London GMT: With bloodshot eyes and forced insomnia, we are both ready to sleep the night away. We fade away to the sound of the television and a white noise fan.

Midnight: We are both wide awake, fighting off discussions about the difference between America’s Dancing with the Stars versus the original British version.

4:12am: I am up alone, contemplating how dry my nostrils need to be to induce a spontaneous bloody nose. Kathy asks if I need any light and then rolls back over to sleep. I welcome back a grogginess that seems to set just behind my eyeballs.

If my calculations hold up, I expect we will be in REM sleep at approximately nine am, while checking in for our flight to Ukraine.

THE BEGINNING

The beginning of our adoption journey has been very pleasant. We got an upgrade that we had been hoping for along with a direct flight. So we actually left at 6pm and arrived in London at 12:30pm. Thanks George and Debbie for this awesome gift. The drive on the 405 to the airport, airport security, the flight, and our hotel check-in all have gone smoothly. We had our first experience in business class and what a treat. Following a nice dinner and cocktail we watched Indiana Jones. To our surprise, of course the villainess was from Eastern Ukraine. I admit I only saw parts as I was falling asleep. The seats lie almost flat and I actually got a few hours of sleep. We were woken by the attendant with our hot breakfast. We are trying to motivate ourselves to take the Tube down to Picadilly square for a walk and maybe some English cuisine. We will keep you posted as often as possible. Thank you for all your support. Kathy

LETTER TO CARETAKERS: OUR CHILD

We decided to adopt because we believe the connections made in international adoption help to shape the world. As a nation made of immigrants, our child will never lose their Ukrainian roots. We are a nation where situational hardships can be overcome and lives can be changed. Our family’s ancestors originally came to the United States to escape the poverty of Ireland and the religious persecution of England. Yet despite these tough beginnings, we never abandon the good of our homelands. Being American is not defined by our geographical location but by an ideal. As individuals, we remain defined by these places no matter the distance. Italian-American. Irish-American. Ukrainian-American, Native American. No one is purely American. We cherish and celebrate our heritage. By adopting a Ukrainian child, the culture and history of Ukraine proudly becomes part of our own. The story of our family grows to include your history. This is a wonderful gift for us.

What you have given to our child already, you have given to us. We thank you for that. We are happy that in this moment we are able to adopt one of the children you have cared for and make them blossom in just the way you have hoped. We wish to bring reward to your work. As you have prepared them, we are ready to carry them the rest of the way.

Ми вирішили всиновити дитину тому, що ми віримо, що родинні зв’язки, набуті в процесі міжнародного всиновлення, допомагають зробити цей світ кращим. Оскільки нація формується завдяки іммігрантам, наша дитина ніколи не втратить своє українське коріння. Ми є нацією, де ситуативні труднощі можна здолати і життя можна змінити. Предки нашої сім’ї вперше прибули до Сполучених Штатів з Англії, щоб уникнути бідності та врятуватися від релігійних переслідувань. До цього часу, незважаючи на важкий початок, ми ніколи не відмовимося від всього доброго, що має наша рідна країна. Нас, як особистостей, можна ідентифікувати незалежно від відстані. Італійський американець. Ірландський американець. Український американець. Чистокровних американців не існує. Ми плекаємо і славимо свій спадок. Ми всиновлюємо українську дитину, і культура та історія України з гордістю стають частиною наших надбань. Історія нашої сім’ї стане більшою, адже до неї буде включена історія вашої сім’ї. Це прекрасний подарунок для нас.

Те, що ви вже дали нашій дитині, ви дали нам. Ми вдячні вам за це. Ми щасливі, що наразі маємо змогу всиновити одного з дітей, про яких ви піклувалися, і зробити все можливе, щоб дитина стала такою, якою б ви хотіли її бачити. Ми хочемо, щоб ви отримали винагороду за вашу турботу. Оскільки ви їх підготували, ми готові провести їх рештою життєвого шляху.

LETTER TO CARETAKERS: PLACES

PLACES

California is often unfairly celebrated only for its movie stars and indulgence. But our California is built by the open spaces and the cultures that have inhabited it. The indigenous Chumash Indians made the California coast their home for thousands of years before the arrival of the first immigrants. They sailed between the mainland and our islands as traders and fishermen. Since then, people from every continent and culture have come to make California their home. California is a unique mixture of Spanish, Mexican, Asian, African, Persian, and European immigrants. The Spaniards colonized our area and built our Catholic missions. Irish immigrants, alongside Chinese, built our railroads. These influences blend together to flavor our food and style our architecture.

In our town, north of Los Angeles, it is the natural world that defines us. John Muir once wrote about California, “Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.”

Nature here is used as a classroom, an amusement park, and a church. Like much of Ukraine, we are an agricultural and ranching community. Our local farmers still sell their fruits and vegetables at open air markets. Our home is surrounded by strawberry fields that you can smell when the temperature cools in the evening. Surfing is our most popular sport, where the vastness and power of the ocean can be experienced intimately. We have streams to fish and mountain trails to test our strength. We believe nature teaches us the most basic human elements, increasingly lost in the hum and whirr of the modern world.

МІСЦЯ
Каліфорнія часто несправедливо славиться лише своїми зірками кіно та терпимістю. Але наша Каліфорнія створена вільними просторами і культурами, що заселили її. Для корінних індіанців Чумаша Каліфорнія на тисячі років стала домом до того, як з’явилися перші іммігранти. Вони здійснювали морські подорожі від континенту до островів у якості купців та рибалок. З того часу прибуло багато жителів інших континентів та представників культури, і Каліфорнія стала для них домом. Каліфорнія – це неповторна комбінація іспанських, мексиканських, азіатських, африканських, перських та європейських іммігрантів. Іспанці заснували колонію на нашій території і збудували будівлі католицької місії.

Іммігранти з Ірландії разом х китайськими іммігрантами побудували наші залізні шляхи. Всі ці фактори поєдналися, щоб надати особливості нашій кухні та архітектурному стилю.

У нашому місті, що знаходиться на півночі від Лос-Анджелесу, нас вирізняє світ природи. Джон Мур якось написав про Каліфорнію: «Кожен потребує краси так, як і хліба, місць, де можна грати і молитися, де природа може вилікувати і зміцнити тіло і душу».

Природу тут використовують як шкільний клас, розважальний парк та церкву. Як і більшість України, ми - спільнота, яка займається землеробством та скотарством. Наші місцеві фермери досі продають фрукти та овочі на відкритих ринках. Навколо нашого будинку ростуть цілі поля полуниць, аромат яких можна відчути ввечері, коли стає прохолодно. Найпопулярніший наш спорт – серфінг, займаючись яким можна безпосередньо відчути безкрайність та силу океану. У нас є річки, де можна ловити рибу, а гірські стежки випробовуватимуть наші сили. Ми віримо, що природа вчить нас основним людським факторам, які невпинно втрачаються у галасі та вихорі сучасного світу.

LETTER TO CARETAKERS: FAMILY

FAMILY
This is our first child. As a couple, we wanted to experience the warmth an adopted child would bring to our marriage. Our daily life is active, calm, and filled with joy. We engage in an athletic and healthy lifestyle, and surround ourselves with music and laughter. By sharing this life with a child waiting for parents, we hope to guide them to their greatest potential.

We are not the only ones that want to see this happen. Our child is anticipated by everyone in our life. There is a collective of friends and family waiting to adopt our child into their lives. Parents and grandparents have waited patiently for us to begin our family. Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins call us for daily updates. Everyone is excited. As a married couple, our family and friendships bring us structure, support and warmth. Coming from an uncertain beginning, we hope our child will quickly find peace in the companionship, support and love of their new family as well.

СІМ’Я
Це наша перша дитина. Ми, подружжя, хотіли відчути тепло, яке всиновлена дитина принесе в наш шлюб. Наше повсякденне життя відрізняється активністю, врівноваженістю, воно сповнене радощів. Ми ведемо спортивний і здоровий спосіб життя та оточуємо себе музикою і сміхом. Розділяючи це життя з дитиною, що чекає на батьків, ми сподіваємося супроводжувати її до найвищих життєвих досягнень.

Не одні ми хочемо побачити, як це відбувається. На нашу дитину з нетерпінням очікують всі люди у нашому житті. Дідусі і бабусі терпляче чекали, поки ми створимо сім’ю. Коло друзів та родичів чекають на прийом дитини до своєї сім’ї. Тьоті, дяді, двоюрідні брати і сестри телефонують щодня, щоб дізнатися останні новини. Всі дуже схвильовані. Наша сім’я і дружні зв’язки надають нашому подружжю організацію, підтримку і тепло. Ми сподіваємося, що дитина, почавши це життя невпевнено, швидко знайде своє місце завдяки спілкуванню, підтримці, а також, любові своєї нової сім’ї.

LETTER TO CARETAKERS: HOME

HOME [hōm] noun

Home. This word has many meanings in English. It is a building, a place, a community. A good home gives us a feeling of security and calms the fears of an uncertain future. It is where we celebrate birthdays and mend heartbreak. It is the place where we come from; a point of reference to orient ourselves to the rest of the world. It is where we return when we go away. “Home” is where we feel we belong. Our child’s new house will be quite different from where they live today. They will have their own room, their own toys, their own dresser, and their own books. There is a rocking chair made by their grandfather. Blankets knitted by their grandmother. A mural painted on their bedroom wall represents the beaches just a few blocks away. Photos of their new family line the hallway to their room. Musical instruments are ready to be picked up and played. Our child will be surrounded by our loves, the things we cherish. And soon, we will be surrounded by theirs.

ДІМ (англ. «home» [hōm], іменник)

Дім. В англійській мові це слово має багато значень. Це і будівля, і місце, і спільнота. Добрий дім вселяє в нас почуття безпеки і заспокоює переживання щодо невпевненості у майбутньому. Це місце, де ми святкуємо дні народження і лікуємо душевні рани. Це місце, звідки ми походимо; точка відліку, відносно якої ми співвідносимо себе з рештою світу. Це те місце, куди ми повертаємося після того, як ідемо геть. «Дім» - це там, де ми почуваємо себе «своїм». Новий дім нашої дитини значно відрізнятиметься від нинішнього її дому. Вони матимуть окрему кімнату, власні іграшки, власний столик із дзеркалом і власні книжки. Ось стілець-качалка, змайстрований їхнім дідусем. Ось ковдри, зшиті їхньою бабусею. Настінний розпис їхньої спальні зображатиме пляжі, що знаходяться на відстані лише декількох кварталів. Фотографії їхньої нової сім’ї будуть стояти у рядок у проході до кімнати. Музичні інструменти напоготові – бери та грай. Наша дитина буде оточена нашими улюбленими речами, тим, що ми плекаємо. І незабаром, навколо нас будуть їхні речі.